The micromanager

Our oldest is approaching her early teens and I have to confess, raising adolescents is an entirely different ball park.  Thou we still have much to learn, we come to realize that previous childhood parenting methods are no longer applicable. 

In order to continue to provide a nurturing environment for her to grow and thrive, we were compelled to modify our parenting approach. 

 

As she began to get more into after school athletics and other extra circular activities, we decided it was time for her to have her own phone.  This way we always know where she is and she can get ahold of us at any time.  Well, of course every smart phone comes with its own vices.  I quickly found that screen time was on the verge of becoming a major issue.  I was now taking on the new role of micromanaging her phone use.

Previous sincere conversations were now continuously replaced with lengthy lectures which definitely did not foster a great parent-child relationship.  

 

I began to earnestly ask God for wisdom in this area. 

 

While in the book of Proverbs one morning, a verse caught my attention.  

 

He, that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.   (Pr 29:1 KJV)

 

 

It dawned on me, my constant correcting was only hardening her response toward me and not at all correcting the issue.  

Rather than bringing us together, every lecture became the elephant in the room that was slowly drifting us apart. 

I was taking the chance of pushing her over the edge, to the point of no return. 

I began to search for other methods of conveying the message.  The first: modeling the desired behavior myself.  If she was going to have limits on her phone, I was to implement the same limits on mine.  

 

Second, I purposed to become more proactive in keeping her engaged in activities that specifically interest her.  Not only did it leave less time for boredom, but it provided for bonding and fostered good relationship that was previously severed. 

 

Again, we definitely have much to learn.  When sharing glimpses of my experiences, my only intent and hope is that they will help others.